Am I even human?

Why? why does he do this? I think he does this on purpose. On my most crucial and trying to stay focused all the time moment, where I am either studying or applying for colleges, but he  just spontaneous appears. My ex. Yes. The last time I had him in my mind was when I heard that Sam Smith song - Good Thing (Btw love himmm ! His voice is ugh! ❤) I kept saying to myself that my values were way different then his, so we couldn't connect the way we used to, EVER! But then I receive a phone  call at 9 am on a weekend, while I'm dreaming and in my sweetest spot, so it was a strange number (thinking it was going to be my cousin) but no. Its him. Oh Lord. Why does he do that? My mind instantly thinks, well I have to speak to him. I can't just not speak trying to act prideful. It starts as "hello"(sleepy voice), "Hello?", "Who's this", AND BOOM his name. Oooh man. What to think. My mind went literally blank. It's been like 2 years since I spoke to him??!!! So then I speak to him. He says his in my hometown until Saturday, by the way he called on a sunday. Awww..... And...... He wants to see me. What!??? So like me, I start to play games insisting that when he sees me will he have something for me or something?? He had no clue I was going to say that, so his automatic move is to cover up and say "yes I do have something for you, if you want it?" Food. Restaurant. That's what is in his mind. Ok so I agreed. Next thing you know, I am scheduled for a meet on Tuesday at my fav spot. (Chipotle, yes girls love chipotle).
......
Tuesday comes.... No meet.
......
Wednesday comes..... No text.
.......
Thursday comes.... No phone call.
......
Friday Comes..... Nothing.
......
Friday afternoon... I call. (dumbass heart has a mind and wants to speaks to me... saying to txt him and see if he remembered.)
So I txt him. He says that he was with his "cousin". Ok.... I say. So I had to remind him to come see me? What is that? Smh.
Anyways, he says nooo I had you in mind I was just so caught up with the cuzos.
Welp long story short- I drove to see him. Saw him. Spoke to him. Saw him. That's it.
.......
He leaves today. He txt me says his leaving. Ok I txt back, wishing him a safe trip. But he wants to talk. I have a funny convo with him, like always with him. So I text him until he leaves 11:30 pm. What kind of person I am, am I even human? Lol this boy is my EX ! He is just my EX. X! Like crosses out my life. Like crossed off, on to the next one. Although, I still had nerves in me still when I was going to see him. 😱😷😵
.....
So he says he arrives at 3 am. So I tell him to txt me when he lands. He says he will. - I would of never thought I was going to go through that. I thought I was going to be able to sing to myself I'm a survivor by Destiny Child or Scrubs by TLC to motivate me from this man. But instead I'm approaching him softly. Something I didn't want to do. Ugh, I don't know what to do with my life. As I hear Christina Aguilera sing "Fighter" I wish I was her, after every word she sings, however me singing those lyrics and meaning it will feel weird.
I guess things are to continue like this until I find my ground. Complicated.

Beat that !

Pro Classic Mode, 8.657" ! Who can beat me in @PianoTiles -> http://st.umoni.com

Growing Up

It is true that you only realize you have something until it's gone. Now, I realize how dumb I reacted to people that weren't worthy of my time. Then I realize the people I could of been better to. I have done some stupid mistakes in my life, but isn't that the point of growing up. To look back at things and say "wow" I was really smart or wow I was really dumb for doing that. Losing someone you love is the worst feeling in the world and to recognize the things you could of said or done is disappointing but it becomes a lesson. I learn to appreciate more of the people in my life. Although it may be tough sometimes because of human nature and our differences, but I hope one day my past will rejuvenate my future. That is my prospective of growing up.

#ForeverAlone?

 

There is always someone for everyone. You just have to be prepared for the deceiver. #Truth

Simple?

So simple but mean so much. Seems to me that people are too caught up in their busy life with making sure everything is where is should be and making things perfect, but never have time for themselves to do the things they really want to do. They're caught up with work or school and never have time for anything. Making time for yourself can help in many ways, emotional and physically. Making you feel and look healthier. Sometimes a break can make a huge difference from the everyday routine, and making you go back to what you were doing with a refreshed mindset. Some people need a time-off sometimes to focus on themselves, so they can have time SHINE. Just like Rihanna said "SHINE bright like a diamond."

Dag online consquences are REAL!

Do young people fully understand the consequences of their online activity? Why or why not?

Some people do not fully understand the consequences of their online activity, in my opinion. I think that, because the things that I have seen trending the past few years has been absurd. Some young people do not know the consequences of the actions they take. They do things without thinking about what might be the consequence later or if it will affect their life, while growing up and becoming adults. Some young people just post things online to catch attention. But in reality, it is all unwanted attention. I've always been told that things you post on the internet are always going to be there even when you try to erase it. So, remember that girl that sucked/ate her own tampon in 2013. Imagine how she would feel or be looked as when she grows up? Many people do say it was fake and blah, blah, blah, but the idea of putting that in your mouth and posting it on the internet is disturbing. But who I am to judge, it is just my way of looking at things I see on the internet that shouldn't be posted and may or may not have a consequence in the long run. Too bad for her I guess...