Am I even human?

Why? why does he do this? I think he does this on purpose. On my most crucial and trying to stay focused all the time moment, where I am either studying or applying for colleges, but he  just spontaneous appears. My ex. Yes. The last time I had him in my mind was when I heard that Sam Smith song - Good Thing (Btw love himmm ! His voice is ugh! ❤) I kept saying to myself that my values were way different then his, so we couldn't connect the way we used to, EVER! But then I receive a phone  call at 9 am on a weekend, while I'm dreaming and in my sweetest spot, so it was a strange number (thinking it was going to be my cousin) but no. Its him. Oh Lord. Why does he do that? My mind instantly thinks, well I have to speak to him. I can't just not speak trying to act prideful. It starts as "hello"(sleepy voice), "Hello?", "Who's this", AND BOOM his name. Oooh man. What to think. My mind went literally blank. It's been like 2 years since I spoke to him??!!! So then I speak to him. He says his in my hometown until Saturday, by the way he called on a sunday. Awww..... And...... He wants to see me. What!??? So like me, I start to play games insisting that when he sees me will he have something for me or something?? He had no clue I was going to say that, so his automatic move is to cover up and say "yes I do have something for you, if you want it?" Food. Restaurant. That's what is in his mind. Ok so I agreed. Next thing you know, I am scheduled for a meet on Tuesday at my fav spot. (Chipotle, yes girls love chipotle).
......
Tuesday comes.... No meet.
......
Wednesday comes..... No text.
.......
Thursday comes.... No phone call.
......
Friday Comes..... Nothing.
......
Friday afternoon... I call. (dumbass heart has a mind and wants to speaks to me... saying to txt him and see if he remembered.)
So I txt him. He says that he was with his "cousin". Ok.... I say. So I had to remind him to come see me? What is that? Smh.
Anyways, he says nooo I had you in mind I was just so caught up with the cuzos.
Welp long story short- I drove to see him. Saw him. Spoke to him. Saw him. That's it.
.......
He leaves today. He txt me says his leaving. Ok I txt back, wishing him a safe trip. But he wants to talk. I have a funny convo with him, like always with him. So I text him until he leaves 11:30 pm. What kind of person I am, am I even human? Lol this boy is my EX ! He is just my EX. X! Like crosses out my life. Like crossed off, on to the next one. Although, I still had nerves in me still when I was going to see him. 😱😷😵
.....
So he says he arrives at 3 am. So I tell him to txt me when he lands. He says he will. - I would of never thought I was going to go through that. I thought I was going to be able to sing to myself I'm a survivor by Destiny Child or Scrubs by TLC to motivate me from this man. But instead I'm approaching him softly. Something I didn't want to do. Ugh, I don't know what to do with my life. As I hear Christina Aguilera sing "Fighter" I wish I was her, after every word she sings, however me singing those lyrics and meaning it will feel weird.
I guess things are to continue like this until I find my ground. Complicated.